Dead Sun Rising: chapter 2; page 18.

I just cried on the way up. No word could nor wanted to leave my mouth. Just empty air, as empty as my soul felt. I felt ashamed. I felt anger. I felt sorrow. The hot tears just trinkeled down my face like a never ending stream. It felt like my heart was about to burst, the hot, searing feeling one feels when sorrow hits you like a brick wall, much like a heart crushed. I simply sat. The journey upwards took three minutes. But to me, it felt like an eternity. I wanted to slam the button to go downwards. Dive down there to save her. But Frost convinced me otherwise, despite me not wanting to listen to him. Instinct told me otherwise. That we needed to save her. But the sacrifice would be in vain then. Despite knowing this, i didn't want to condemn her to this fate. I hated myself for not being able to save yet another person in my life.

The door slowly grinded to a halt and a friendly announcer told us that we were at bottom one level as the door opened itself up. The first thing that we both noticed was the alarming smell of thick smoke. It snapped me out of the shock and sorrow as quickly as i begun to cough non-stop. Something was burning, and there was an overwhelming smell of burnt rubber and wood in the air. It made me tear up instantly but Frost had the advantage of the gas mask so he wasn't affected by it as much. Still, if i hanged around here much longer, i'll probably become brain dead. It's felt like i was trying to breathe through a straw. Not the nicest feeling in the world. We both started rushing, the smoke was blinding to me so frost just grabbed me by the arm and starting pulling me along towards what we thought was the exit. Or atleast the stairs up. To be honest, i couldn't see much by now. My eyes were tearing up as we went further into the smoke and hopefully on our way out of this hell-hole, finally. Have you ever tried walking up stairs while closing your eyes? Well, it was kinda like that. Things were a blur for me, to say the least. I lost track of where i went in the end, being blindly led by Frost. Everthing just kept getting blurrier and blurrier, and i could feel everything in my body slowing down. Every single organ just giving up on me. Damnit... Just a little bit... more... Need...

Next thing i know, i was staring at the sky. The sky, i was staring at the freaking sky again. Just that fact made me so happy i tried sitting up. Not the brightest thing to do. I started coughing so hard, i thought i was gonna puke for a while. Fighting to get air into my lungs, i lifted my arms up above my head and started controlling my breathing effectively forcing my body to breath the way i wanted to. I stood up, looking around for Frost, Sophie and Nails. Whils't Sophie was right next to me, nails was nowhere to be found alongside Frost. For a few seconds, my brain processed that Nails was left behind in order to save us three. Or two. It was like loosing her all over again in those few seconds. You know, i never fully understood the whole thing with powerful experiences creating the strongest bonds. I finally understood all those movies, games, books. And it hurts, badly. A fresh stream of tears made it's way down my cheek, something i paid little attention to too be honest. Everything aked, right down to what i assumed was the soul. A sound made itself heard and still being in high alert, i reached for my gun instantly raising it to a full snap, ready to pull the trigger in a heartbeat. It was Frost. I just exhaled deeply and relaxed for a bit. It sure helped with the mood atleast.

- I see you're finally awake Chris.

- What happened? All i know is that i fell unconcious sometimes on our way out. And i have all these wierd scrapes and bruised all over me.

- That... Would be a story for another time. We got out, at the very least. And i managed to grab this handy shovel on the way out. Fancy that, huh? I am a bit low on ammo though.

Frost lifted the shovel and handed it to me. It smelled horribly and was full of all kinds of nasty stuff on the metal end of the shovel. I don't want to know what he did with it, but i can only assume. For now, i started digging. It was going to take a while with this aking body, but i was finally at the journeys end with me and Sophie. I can finally give her the burial she deserved. But Nails... Tossing that thought aside, i suddenly found myself with plenty of time to ponder what the hell to do next as i continued my digging with the help of frost. The situation hadn't changed just because we were out of that hell hole. But we were still left with no food, no idea where we are and where the nearest town was. I guess we were in it for the long haul. When we were done, we ceremonially bowed, put an improvised cross over her grave and i shed my last tears for her. The sun was on it's way up. Needless to say, when you've almost dies so many times over, it was the most beutiful ruby tinted sunrise i have seen in my life. Well, Time to make our way into what will hopefully be an intact civilisation....

Thank you Nails, for allowing my survival despite the cost of your own. I promise to make it worthwhile by surviving, but it hurts just taking steps without you. I'm so sorry i failed you.